Dear Pastor — A Letter from A.I.

Just wait until Artificial Intelligence (AI) judges every sermon preached. Pastors will get this message texted, emailed, and voice-mailed on a monthly basis from the AI:

“Reverend Smith, your sermon content has insufficiently affirmed basic human rights this month. Less than 1% of your content promoted the basic democratic human values as determined by the United Nations Commission on Human Rights, ratified by the U.S. Senate, and legislated by the State of Colorado:

  • Love and acceptance of our LGBTQ Citizens
  • Affirming the right of people of color to migrate to historically White areas.
  • Responsibilities toward the United Nations government as citizens of the World.
  • Reducing the consumption of environmentally harmful biological meats.

“As a result, 5% of your assets will be deducted from your account this month. You have thirty days to correct this anomaly, otherwise the deduction will be permanent and recurring. Should you have questions, please refer to the FAQ.a

“This analysis was completed from a recording of your sermons. Zoning laws require every public space capable of holding over four people to be wired with audio capture devices (similar to the fire alarms of previous generations) that protect citizens in case of mass casualty events including fire, earthquake, building collapse, or hate speech.) ”

“Thank you for your support of Basic Human Dignity.”